The Day Childhood Dreams are Broken
by marysverse
Summary: Chloe learns secrets that destroys the life she lives.


A/N: Blah, Blah Blah and the usual drivel about not owning characters. Just something that popped into my head. I guess I'm the only one that thinks what Clark did is a bigger deal than they made it on the show. Personally, I wouldn't be able to call him my BFF. But I digress, love it or hate it, please review.

Dearest Chloe,

I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye, again. It was just too painful to be reunited with Clark and then forced apart. Lex always knows how to win.

I'm writing to you now because there are some truths I thought you should know. While you were under the influence of Brainiac, Clark had Jor-El erase your memories of him being more than human. Every instance, every adventure of superhuman nature that you shared with him, he took from you. I know how you feel about honesty and I know knowledge is one of your basic foundations of who you are. I know you'd want to know.

Also, during the period in which Brainiac took full control of you, Clark hid many things that occurred. The Legion told Clark that they had never heard of you. They knew of me, they knew of Lois, they knew of everyone in Clark's life, except you. You weren't in the history books because you're not supposed to be a part of his future. You're always so gung-ho to help out, to help save; but you don't make it Chloe. And I hope you stop trying, cause I'm afraid the reason you aren't in the history books, is because you die trying. Which brings me to another secret. Clark considered killing you to prevent Brainiac from destroying the world. And I know what you're thinking; you would happily sacrifice yourself for any greater good. But Chloe, think about it. Would Clark have ever considered it, if it had been me? You think he would ever think about killing me if Brainiac had possessed me?

I know the things I'm saying sound cruel. But I do it as a kindness. I know you love him. I know you'd do anything for him. But he's not the guy for you. He loves me. He will always love me. And I'd hate to see you force him to settle for you, because he can't have me. You know its true. I'm not telling you any lies. I don't want you to be hurt anymore. I know he loves you, and eventually he'd be with you to make you happy. But he is not now, nor will he ever be in love with you. You deserve better. I hope you find happiness one day Chloe, with a guy who will return your affection as strongly as you do. But it's not with Clark.

Love Always,

Lana

It had come innocuously enough. A harmless cream envelope with an elegant scrawl of Chloe's name. No return address. Her curiosity had been peaked, a slight flush of excitement at potential intrigue as she opened the heavy envelope and unfolded the thick, white, single sheet of paper that would leave her devastated.

She sat in her apartment that she had once shared with Jimmy. Heart in her throat, her eyes occasionally drifting back to the letter to reread its contents. She didn't want to. She wanted to burn it, to shred it, to pulverize it into an unrecognizable mash. But she sat there, and her eyes would only allow her a brief respite from the painful words before forcing her brain to take them in again.

She wasn't aware of how much time went by, her legs tingled as she finally managed to stagger to her feet. One baby blue suitcase was removed from her closet.

_Say your sorry that face of an angel_

_Comes out just when you need it to_

_As I paced back and forth all this time_

_Cause I honestly believed in you_

Mechanically Chloe went to her drawers and took out seven pairs of underwear and seven pairs of socks.

_Holding on, the days drag on_

_Stupid girl, I should have known_

_I should have known_

Blindly she grabbed for clothes, not caring what kind as she stuffed them into the blue case.

_I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale_

_I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet_

_Lead her up the stairwell_

_This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town_

_I was a dreamer before you went and let me down_

_Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around_

She grabbed her hidden stash of emergency cash stuffed in a baby tiger Clark had won for her years ago.

_Baby I was naïve, got lost in your eyes_

_And never really had a chance_

_My mistake I didn't know to be in love_

_You had to fight t have the upper hand_

_I had so many dreams about you and me_

_Happy endings, now I know_

Her hand automatically reached for the picture of her, Clark and Pete that had never gone anywhere without her.

_I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale_

_I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet_

_Lead her up the stairwell_

_This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town_

_I was a dreamer before you went and let me down_

_Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around_

She trembled as she gripped the frame of one of her favorite memories. She didn't realize she was crying. She flung the picture against her living room wall, the satisfying crunch of glass doing nothing to appease the burning in her chest.

_And there you are on your knees_

_Begging for forgiveness, begging for me_

_Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry_

_Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale_

_I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well_

_This is a big world, that was a small town_

_There in my review mirror disappearing now_

_And it's too late for you and your white horse_

_Now it's too late for you and you white horse, to catch me now_

Grabbing her keys and her purse, she flew out her door like demons of her past were chasing her. She stumbled; she fell, tears mixing with bloody scrapes on her hands as she continued her desperate journey to reach her car. If she could just make it to her car, she knew she'd be okay. It took three tries to get the key to unlock the door, the previous two tries leaving deep gashes in the paint. Flinging her half empty suitcase into the passenger seat, she flung herself into the driver's seat and slammed shut the door. A semblance of lucidity returned to her in the small, safe haven of her vehicle. She had forgotten the letter. No, it was better she had not brought it. It was time she left those things behind. She needed a fresh start. A place where heroes didn't break hearts. A place where she could bury the tattered remains of Chloe Sullivan and emerge as someone better, someone worthy. She would not let herself be used; she would not let herself be walked on. She would never have to see Clark Kent's face ever again. She managed to start the car on the first try with an almost smooth twist of her fingers. But she couldn't help gunning the engine and peeling out of her parking space, anxious to put as much distance between her and all her weaknesses.

_Try to catch me know_

**Later that evening at Chloe's Apartment**

He picked up the broken picture, not sure what it meant. Brushing aside the glass, he saw it was one of Chloe, Pete and him. They had been hanging out outside, doing nothing as they always did. His Mom had come by and snapped the picture of them, ignoring their protests and warning them that they would want these memories someday. His grin faded from his face as he continued to survey her apartment. She wasn't answering her phone. Her closet had some remnants of clothing dangling precariously from wire hangers and several empty ones were scattered on the floor, like she had been in a hurry.

He walked over to her kitchen searching vainly for a clue. And there it was. A sheet of stationary so rich and so stark white, it was immediately out of place in her warmly colored kitchen. The thought of respecting her privacy never even crossed his mind. He knew she was in some sort of trouble. After he read and reread the damn letter he realized he was wrong. She was not in any danger. He was. He knew, without a single doubt that he had lost her. And he was in trouble, because for the first time he realized he might not survive life without her. That he might not want to.


End file.
